I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
