3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize