I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
