I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize