On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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