were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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