I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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