I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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