It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
