yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
