I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
