did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
