im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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