Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize