I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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