if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
