But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
