no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
