he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
