You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
where are my eyebrows?
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