Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
