I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
