I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
