My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
