I think my fart just growled at me.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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