I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
