Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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