I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
