i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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