Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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