before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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