Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
