But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
