so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
