Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
