You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
