Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my being single is dangerous.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Randomize
