so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just had sex bonerless
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
