okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
