Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
