i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
