the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
