Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Potential corruption. He's 19.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Get them while they're young!

Fav 2 1776 676
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(434): View more from Virginia

There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

Fav 25 14582 1254
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(301): View more from Maryland

Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.

Fav 20 6550 1556
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(518): View more from New York

Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.

Fav 7 4687 1332
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

Fav 9 4728 1590
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.

Fav 15 2667 1302
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(801): View more from Utah

She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.

Fav 5 4903 1267
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(239): View more from Florida

This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.

Fav 5 721 605
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(775): View more from Nevada

If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.

Fav 3 43 56
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