yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she looked like the before picture.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
