Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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