There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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