Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
