Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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