I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
