You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
