if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
