im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
