i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
