All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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