Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
