Pants 0. Shit 1.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
