If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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